Wasting Time, Day 3

An update on this week's goal to Waste Time:

Honestly, I don't feel friendly toward the term "waste time." But I keep reminding myself to Do It.

Last night while chilling in the bath I realized how nearly impossible it is for me to achieve a restful mind space at home. Still, I chanted to myself like a hypnotist, Waaasssste Tiiimmmmeeee. My mind catches that kind of directional with a lot of confusion.

First, the huh-ified mind floated over to the couch and TV area because that seems the best way to Waste Time. But once given permission, or commanded to waste time, the mind (or is that desire?) meandered over to the work space and laptop area like a curious dog sniffing out something interesting. Like food.

I actually wanted to, well, do something. I didn't know what but being directed to the couch made me want to go in the opposite direction. Hmmm. Child psychology?

So far this week, wasting time has been ... fun. Fulfilling. And fruitful. Including a run with a friend to see the cherry blossoms at the U.W. quad. They're raging right now -- absolute heaven. I've met some new people, did some coaching work, had some good swims, done some writing and been in an almost eerie unstressed state. Which is unsettling for this closet worrier.

Here's something odd I notice -- a bit of a zen freak out let's call it:

As I move through the week I am aware of this old voice far in the background. I can hear it and read its lips and arm waves as it jumps up and down screaming Prepare to be very afraid! We're goin' down...!, while a calmer, wiser voice is turning away like a calm zen-ish parent does with a whiney kid. This trusting wiser voice is in charge and is feeding my normally worrying mind this information: Don't worry about it. Everything's fine. Just keep doing what you're doing.

Holy [swearwords]!

So the stuff I normally worry about: finances, work, WHAT TO DO NEXT WITH MY TIME, are just not present. I haven't felt overwhelmed once. It is only Wednesdsay and none of this may be connected to wasting time. Who knows.

It's all strange and blissful. And something else:

While lying on the warm massage table at the office of my wonderful chiropracter, a cool image came to visit. I saw "wasting time" as an vision of a swimmer moving through water, breast stroking inside a dark green lake. I was breast stroking through these waters without knowing where I was going or even where I was and just seeing wisps of my hair moving back and forth. It felt suspended and relaxing.

Or maybe breast stroking through the cool deep green is just a good visual for sensual time management.

Sensual time management?

Maybe that's a new way to package time wasting. I dunno. I'm going to swim off into the mystic now.

This Week, I Will Waste Time. Lots of It!

So it's Monday, I'm back from a short sunny holiday, and returning to a week that has a lot of cool different stuff going on.

But there's still the time-management struggle of facing time outside the construct of a J-J-Job.

So in an effort to be about as productive as someone who does magic with lists and tick marks and who's also probably of a different ethnic and brain-dominant background than me, I dared to ask:

How can I be as productive as possible this week?

After checking in with myself and my subconscious and whatever wiser higher being I could find, what came to me was this: throw the question out. Throw it out!

In order to avoid being an agnst-ridden doggie chasing her tail--what to do next? what to do next?--I'm going to try something else for shits and giggles.

I am going to try to waste as much time as I can this week.

A bit of background: I had a bit of a meltdown last week. I lost my sense of fun. I got grumpy and overwhelmed and self-doubty and my sense of play lay wimpering at my feet. So, it seems that my higher wiser self came in and put the nix on anything like "Making the most out of my week."

Instead, this week is an experiment at putting away the lists and to stop chasing my tail and just see what happens if my goal is to waste time. Burn a hole in it, just beat it down. Waste it away!
Maybe I'll just have to trust that the stuff that needs to get done will. The book projects and cool ideas and stuff like that.

Yes, I do have a calendar and make appointments that I write down and I actually do keep to. But there are margins of time around those appointments. And that's when I can fall prey to doing a lot of this:

So I'm going to see what this brings me this week, and I'll report back.

Let me put a few things in context. While I may be what some are calling a "recessionista," I am also someone who has, like most people, a diverse set of interests. I guess I just don't want anyone to think I'm a slacker.

So let me cover my ass for a second here. I am currently a student in a coach training program; I'm a writer of various genres and book possibility projects; I have some business ideas that are being researched; I have paying work to look for; friends to see; sports to do; books to read; projects to NOT forget about; people to coach, and so on.

So lots to do. It's not HOW to fill time but in what order. Where, when, how.

And the trick is to spend as little time caught in the WHAT DO I DO NEXT space.

A related aside: I've really noticed something the last few weeks. It seems most of us have these dueling selves. It comes out in conversations like, "I really want to write but there's a part of me that just doesn't believe I can." My dueling selves happen to be (1) the creative free spirit and (2), the mean accountant. They exist to work together and serve me; it's best when the nay-saying admin gets out of the way but still, there's a reason for both of these selves to exist. I guess.

And when they don't get along I feel a bit like this:

Skimpy psychoanalyzing aside, let's move on to Wasting Time.

So far, since making that proclamation, 5 hours have passed and I have:

Gone for a swim.
Made a new artist friend I may collaborate with.
Started reading a book that will be good brain food.
Read said book at beach.
Made dinner.
Organized course work. (Did someone say organized?)
Wrote this blog.
Answered emails.
Kept focusing on, Waste time, just waste it.
And found myself really excited to do all of this stuff.

Of course I don't like the word "waste." Maybe it will change into something else like "play"--but why future trip already.

But for some of us that reverse psychology just works.

And my relationship with time could probably use a bit of a standing on its head.

What if you tell yourself to Waste as much time as you can? What happens?

I'm here to find out.

How to write a poem in 5 minutes without thinking about it

Happy Friday.

Today is a tiny writing lesson--no, let's call it an example. I'm going to use a poem written by my almost-10-year-old nephew, Campbell.

How it worked: I fed him a prompt for every line and he wrote the following short poem. Ok, I admit I took his dictation. But he was sporty enough to respond to me sitting down next to him, opening up a notebook and saying, basically, go.

Here's the poem:

The Wonderful Life of a Trophy Winner
By Campbell Mishel

Someone won a trophy
The orange grapefruit is tasty
The smell of cactus flowers blooming—
They smell like the remote!
The TV sits in the flower field
Grandpa and the honking horns of Paris
And I sit in this chair with my cup of coffee.

You could say this poem employs stacked images. For example, the individual lines seem unrelated but by stacking images and creating a collage of senses, the reader is left with a feeling of something. For me, it feels like someone reminiscing.

Want to know how this poem was written?

In brackets I'm going to write each prompt I fed to Campbell. And you'll see how easy it can be to play with writing--even p-p-p-poetry. The best part of it, is you can write with someone else--a friend, child or young person, even yourself.

Ok, here we go. First, off, I used a trick written of in an earlier post about Looking Up. The poem line is in itals.

[First, I told Campbell to look around, find an object, put it in a line. We're sitting at a kitchen table with the TV nearby. As his attention wandered I said, Don't think about it, just give me a line.]
Someone won a trophy

[repeat above instructions and add a taste]
The orange grapefruit is tasty

[now insert a smell]
The smell of cactus flowers blooming—

[What exactly does it smell like; he took his cue from an object in the room]
They smell like the remote!

[Insert an image from nature; and he still keeps bringing in surrounding objects]
The TV sits in the flower field

[Now mention a place, or a person]
Grandpa and the honking horns of Paris

[I told him this was the last line--bring it home, boy!]
And I sit in this chair with my cup of coffee.

Then I asked Campbell to think about a title -- and that there wasn't a better or worse/right or wrong title, just to play around with it. Look how he instrinctively took the feel of the poem and titled it: "The Wonderful Life of a Trophy Winner."

Pretty cool huh? Young minds have amazing creative resources. We can learn from them.

Happy Friday and writing and playing. Don't forget to make it fun.

Campbell taking a celebratory photo of writer and auntie, post poem.

Dear Fun Factory: When you lose your sense of fun

Dear Fun Factory,

Of late I notice there seems to be a hiccup in your engine. Are you experiencing a bit of ennui? I thought it was just my pals B and P (who really know how to fun it up) who were experiencing some malfunction in their Fun-producing selves and now I see I need a check up.

A few things I'm noticing in case you feel like listening:

Don't forget to stop thinking so much. The mind is a terrible thing to overuse.

Enjoy playing with your niece and nephew and imagine you had as much potential in your life that they have ahead of them.

Risk. Chance. Daring. You have forgotten about the laughter and excitement that comes from going down an unknown road and where it might take you.

Don't take yourself so seriously.

Don't take yourself so seriously.

Go out, live from your heart, and risk falling down and getting up--you'll have a good story to tell.

Now, on a semi-related note here's a quote Heidi sends us on the topic of Commitment & Freedom. It's Starbucks Coffee Cup Wisdom:

The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. -- Anne Morriss

Now go out and forget about goals and achievement and making anything great of yourself during this second act of your life. Just keep doing and playing and having fun already!

Photo: My niece, Taya, showing me how to drive a golf cart and let go of my fears. Fun!

What if you freed yourself from bad working spaces?

I recently talked to a couple friends who are not enjoying their jobs.

I know how they feel. I know what it's like to feel "grateful to have any job" during a rough economy. And on the other hand, it sucks to be in a work environment that's rooted in fear and insecurity and chaos.

It sucks to admit you're grateful for a disfunctional job. And yet, making a paycheck is not something to turn your back on. Especially now.

When you're spinning in the problem and unable to find creative solutions it's like being in prison. The fun machine has stopped working; you stop hearing yourself laugh. Your face feels tighter, your teeth clenchier. No fun!

I once had a job at a start-up where no one really knew what we were doing. And I just couldn't get myself outside of my fabulously constructed box-of-stress--even though I knew there was a thriving world outside of myself and this job. Even though we were not saving babies or furthering world peace... but still ... investors.

Recently I've started thinking about the opportunities that exist to everyone on so many levels--levels we don't even begin to tap into. They're simple; they are not saviors, but they are small steps in the right (calming, peaceful, fun-ifying) direction.

Ok, example: you're not happy at work. Boss is a wee bit crazy, insecure, has ass to the fire and so everyone is a big f'd up at work. And now these bad feelings are oozing over into every part of your life. You take said bad feelings home with you, they might as well have their own chair at the dinner table and then they snuggle into bed with you.

How on earth do you find some peace?

Really, let's face it: most of us don't have save-the-world jobs. But it's the emotional fever that gets spread through a group that makes things hell.

Some peacenik questions to get the ball rolling:

Where can you go to create a sliver of inner sanctuary in the course of your day?

How can you remind yourself of a greater more peaceful and wonderful world outside the office park or office politics of your working life?

Can you put a quote or a photograph of kids or a luscious piece of art somewhere in your working space?

How can you remind yourself that this particular uncomfortable space is not the only space available to you?

Is it possible, even in the tiniest way, to have some compassion for the very difficult time your boss is having? If the answer is no, then PRETEND you're someone who does have compassion and imagine how that might feel. Freeing? Liberating? Like someone actually able to laugh during the day?

Let's pretend that one morning, out of your latte machine, a genie appeared and gave you three wishes toward your bestest dreamiest life. What would you ask for? What parts of that dreamiest life could you take action on today? Hint: If its to travel across the world and you can't do that today, could you, say, take a Saturday road trip to the next town over for fun? Think big, and then take actions on a realistic level and go from there.

If you could wave a magic wand and wake up tomorrow freed from the tyrany of the job-anxiety-prison, how might your day go?

Some people I know swim with friends, others go for a run, some meditate or do arts & crafts and others just sit in it and talk about it with anyone who will listen. Sometimes it's a waiting game for the storm to pass.

Sometimes I need comic relief. I had this photo somewhere handy when I needed to imagine coming to work and confronting my colleagues looking like this:

My niece, Taya, totally freed from all image-centric concerns.

What if you believed you could be happy even in the most hellish Stalin-esque working environment because there is a piece of you that nobody -- I mean nothing -- can touch?

What if it was 75 degrees today in Seattle and everyone ran out of their homes and offices and coffee shops and headed right to the beaches and spent the next week there?

What if? What if?

How to Stay in the Room of your Great Idea, aka No More Brick Walls!

Great idea + Brick Wall = Waaaaaa!

So here's my thinking behind the Great-Idea brick wall. You get a Great Idea: a writing idea, a new biz venture or a breakout thought that will solve some age-old problem. Hooray for creative bright ideas! Hooray for resourceful you!

And then the brick wall goes up. Or the air goes out of your sail. To mix even more metaphors--you want to run screaming from the room of your great idea.

For example:

The other day I was excited about something--it could have been research that relates to a business venture or a writing project. There were action-items, I could see the end-result, I felt committed, knowing I could take action on them soon... and then ... WHAM.

The brick wall again. I love getting all juiced up on a Great Idea as long as I am in no place to have to actually do anything. Like, in a car or an airplane, in bed or weeks away from a deadline.

This seems to be the formula: Great Idea comes in. Celebrate! For days--exhalting in said Great Idea. Then find self standing in front of the Great Wall of Idea Deaths and run dejectedly home. Then, after dust settles, come up with a new Great Idea. Celebrate, hit wall, abandon, repeat.

Here's a story with an imbedded solution:

I like to think about what the writer Ron Carlson once said at an AWP conference. So, he starts a novel. He writes the first paragraph of the first page. It's magnificent. He's so happy. He's on his way! Good job writer, high fives all around, etc. So what does the writer do next?

Well, he wants to leave the room and go out and celebrate for the next decade. But instead, he does something that separates the writers from the non-writers.

He stays in the room.

I think about this when I'm filled with ambition at the idea of a new project or I write the first lines of a poem of a formidable business plan and then close the document to do a jig right out of the room.

So here's today's suggestion: Stay in the room. Even when your idea feels like too much work, impossible, crazy and you want to abandon the entire world as you know because it's too uncomfortable. Stay in the room.

Many of us hear about writers who simply show up for an hour or two to write. Some days words come, some days they are simply filling the space. But it's a really important act, their showing up. Their not leaving the room.

Sometimes showing up is the most important part of the day.

Recently I've had the privilege to speak with many people who are embarking on new projects, adventures, businesses, dreams. These new great ideas are ones they're excited about but also overwhelmed by. And staying in the room without fleeing into the streets of oncoming traffic can be challenging.

So, how can you stay in the room with your great idea, your project, your self?

Today I'm going to sit at my computer and pick away at my action items, one brick at a time. I have a motto I'm test-driving: Doing is freeing. So, I am going to sit in the room with my ideas and dreams and To Do list (oops, recently renamed Forget-me-not list) and see if the wall comes down a bit. And if I can just hang out in this room for a while.

How about you? What happens when you stay in the room of your Great Idea and dismantle the wall so you can forge ahead?

Tangent flash: I just remembered a dream last night that involved a delinquent road trip with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck!

Heads up! A simple writing tip for everyone

I have found this one simple way of making writing come easier: the act of raising the chin and looking up.

Here’s what I’m talking about. Let’s say you’re writing. Can we safely say that you’re sitting in a position where you’re hovering over a keyboard or notebook with shoulders rounded and head tipped down?

The point is: The physical act of writing is usually introverted, poised inward. One person sitting alone (even among a group or a café crowd) is inhabiting her personal experiences, dreams, feelings, hopes--all of which dictates the words, images and feelings that tumble into a story or a poem or a very important email or white paper business project.

And if you’re daydreaming out the window while creating your writing, you’ve probably separated yourself from your environment.

Makes sense, right? But wait—

Is this how writing has to be? ... An interior process that requires we block out the world around us? Or is there another way of writing that is more fun, more outward-reaching, social, surprising, playful, pursuasive—artful?

What I am proposing is that we spend more time looking up when we write. Starting with a simple chin lift.

Yes, just tip it up and look at what’s around you. See the objects in the room, on the window sill, on the table you’re writing on – the floor, the walls. What's an engaging phrase looking up from the paper or a word on a poster you could swipe? I’m not one to judge where or how you write—I’m writing this in bed so I don’t even have to tip my chin to look up.

And this just in: When you’re physically LOOKING UP, you’re using the cerebral cortex which automatically puts you in a more resourceful mode. Something I learned in coaching class today.

So, here are a few things to keep in mind when writing:

1. Look up to use the things around you in your writing. You'll be pleasantly surprised, promise!
2. Look up to be a thief. Steal your heart out. Take everything that's around you and stuff it in the pockets of your lines and scenes and marketing copy (c'mon just try it for a first draft). Consider this a more subversive way to do #1.
3. Look up to be a language scavenger. Eavesdrop, use words and phrases you overhear at the table next to you (I once wrote a break-up poem filled with language spoken by a table of cops having coffee).
4. Steal, steal, thievery and more thievery.

For example: Your poem about childhood may benefit by that salt shaker, an image of a dirty carpet, a too-short skirt or a weiner dog. Your Web copy may benefit from using images and things that show the picture of what you can do for your clients instead of getting lost in conceptual marketing-speak. Let a prospect SEE what it is you do and respond with: "Yes, that's just what I need!"

Remember the power of show-don't-tell. The universality of "things" helps a reader step into your writing work with a deeper association and therefore commitment. I might not have a visceral reaction to "grainy anxiety" but I sure will if you show me someone taking the pointy head of a porcelain seahorse and scratching it into into a glass table (no idea where that came from; I have no porcelain seahorses but I do have a glass table).

Imagine if you wanted to capture sadness or joy or lust and did it by describing the contents of someone’s refrigerator. Or: how about if you started out writing a story filled wtih objects in your fridge, and then stepped back to see what kind of emotional landscape you created? Cool, eh?

LET WRITING SURPRISE YOU. Let your poem or story or essay or business plan take you somewhere new. The first draft doesn't have to be perfect. Instead, aim for fun.

And business writers or anyone who says "I'm not a creative writer so leave me alone"—you may not need the salt shaker or dirty carpet morsels in your business plan but remember that the act of looking up and connecting with the world around puts even you in a more resourceful state. It makes you feel less alone in your endeavors (sometimes writing hurts, I know) and engaging with the world around you stimulates your brain.

So, heads up writers! And that means most of us who find some reason to write/blog/email/text/Twitter every single day. It still all counts as w.r.i.t.i.n.g.

Have fun and share discoveries.