On one of our white-skied smokey September days, someone in a coaching group I'm in brought up the notion around making people happy.
"This isn't a roll-over approach to people-pleasing," I was assured.
I wasn't in a very good mood, and shrugged it off.
Then I went downtown to have lunch with my friend Ann in Seattle's Columbia Tower. We chose a restaurant in the building--an Asian noodle joint that served combination bowls. It was one of those situations where you point to vegetables and meat cubes and tofu and sauces in little vats and they get scooped into your bowl. I pointed away--"that," "some of that" and a tall man with muscley arms and a skull cap loaded my bowl up with rice noodles and chicken and broccoli and some mystery red sauce.
"Anything else?" he asked.
And then it hit me. Make someone happy.
I took it as a challenge--a salivating rub-my-hands-together challenge: OK Tatyana, mke this person happy--GO.
"That will do it," I said, and instead of looking down, I made eye contact with this gentleman. Then I attempted small talk. "Boy that looks good!" I normally do not make small talk like this. I'm from the school of "don't talk to me Stranger."
The server looked back at me and smiled. "Oh yes, it does look good! Have a great lunch."
"Thanks. You have a great afternoon yourself."
I got back this big beaming smile.
It was that simple. A few clumsy cliche words, a smile, some eyes contact. Done.
After that, I looked for all these small ways I could make a person feel happy. Or happier.
Another one included responding to an email from a prospective client who said she didn't want to do coaching work right now. So, I wrote an honest email in response, with the intent to support her and make her feel really good about her decision. I went out of the way to do the last part.
I'm no expert in what makes people happy. I have no idea. But in both situations I played with what might make someone even the teensier bit happy in their current situation.
Now: Your turn. Experiment, play.
What little turns of movements can you make to add to someone's feel-good mojo?
Psst: It has a major boomerang effect, too.
Thanks for playing!
This month is dedicated to Feeling Better in a Troubled World: Simple daily life ways we can all catch a breath and remember a bit of beauty when the news is getting the best of us. If you're having a tough time and want to know how coaching can support you, email me for a conversation at firstname.lastname@example.org . There's no need to feel alone! XO