I've wondered about Ambition for years. What is the engine of ambition? Why are some of us so much more driven then others? How do you know if it's positively or negatively charged?
And what happens when you lose it?
In my late Thirties I felt like I lost my old hungry professional ambitions.
I was also in grad school, but something else was happening.
My ambitions were changing.
What really mattered to me was more in the spirit of relationships, and the outward exchange of my inner betterment with the outside world. I suppose some might call it personal growth. I was also writing a lot of poetry, and I was ambitious in the area of sonnets. It brought some fun collaborations but in the more Alpha world, where did that leave me?
So I've come to look at Ambition as a guide. It can give me information, as in: Hmm, this seems to be calling at me, what's it asking of me, where could I go with this, does this fit in with my values?
And I also can sense when I'm in one of those liminal spaces of initiation and transformation: My Ambitions are in a bit of a fade-out which unnerves me but also allows me to give up some old ways and habits that don't serve me anymore and evolve into a New, Improved (!!) version of myself (I almost wrote "product").
If any of this rings a bell with you, here's a question to ask yourself:
How can you harness all your delicious curiosity, and explore this passage of time as though you're your own private eye, and see what you discover?
Write, draw, read, pay attention to images and people who show up and see how they may be wagging their fingers at you to walk in a new direction.
Will it be scarey? Perhaps.
Will it be worth it?
Evolve, babies, evolve, that's what we're here for. And enjoy the process.