Is It Better to Be Self-Employed?

It is really better to be self-employed than work at a j-j-job?

What a dumb question.

Of course it's better to be self-employed. You can set your own hours, go skiing on Fridays, answer to no one called The Man, take as much vacation time as you wish, work in your PJs, set your salary, name your price, burst out of all ceilings, glass or otherwise. You're free, baby.

And yet --

Being employed rocks! Regular pay checks, built-in community, insurance, 401ks, someone holding you to goals and gorgeous career arcs, there's this thing called work-life-balance that is so in this century, and did we mention the built-in community of people? Easy. You belong, man.

And the answer is --

But first a story that led to this noodling:

Today I walked into an old friend in my neighborhood. She asked what I was up to. I told her I was starting a couple of businesses. Her answer: "Oh, how nice to be self-employed. You can take walks when you want to, have lunch whenever you want, have your own time ..." I looked at her a bit in wonderment and she continued very dreamily. "Oh, it's sooo nice being self-employed."

I just said "Yes. Yes it is." I was tempted to say something like, "It's really nice to be self-employed and start up a business with 2.5 clients and have that whole money-earning challenge with the health insurance hassle and and and." But really, who wants to hear that sob story. No one held a gun to my head and made me do it all.

Plus, I liked her take on it much better.

But I did have this thought as I walked home. Neither one is better. If you look at Working for the Man vs. Working for Yourself without judgment or prejudice, they come out pretty evenly in the wash. One comes with a built-in sense of community and that financial care-taking comfort. Ah, that was lovely. And the politics. The other frees you of constructed corporate hoops and the possibility of working for a dumbell who gets by on charm and connections. Each work option has its advantages and disadvantages . 

And on this particular walk home it struck me that both end up being equally the same. The variables probably depend on the kind of personality you have, where you are in your life and your career and if circumstances have offered you an opportunity to start something on your own (recessions make entrepreneurs out of many of us).

It's only better to be self-employed if self-employment suits your personality and your stage of life. And it's probably great to be self-employed when you've got some time behind you and your biz is going along fantastically and you're going skiing on Fridays and enjoying the thrill and pride of making something that is yours and providing you a good life.

Otherwise, who can say which is better. I have ping-ponged back and forth over my life -- in jobs and on my own -- and enjoyed/dis-enjoyed them both equally, which may count for my reaction to the question.

But now I'm taking a stand in building my own business. I am striking out to become a "solopreneur" with a Web-based business (er, two actually). Which is exciting for sure. And it probably really, really suits me, even if it scares the bejuses out of me some nights. For example, I usually get bored in a job after a year or two and if I look at my work pattern over the last 25 years, there is more evidence to support a work life outside corporate America. But god did I try! And yes, sometimes I feel a bit like a loney-preneur. But one gets resourceful and finds some other solo-flyers and starts what I'm calling Salonpreneur gatherings.

So is it better to be self-employed?

That's your call.

Change and stress

This week I went to see my fabulous body-doc, Dr. Emily Transue (she writes books, too). As I was telling her about the changes presented to me this year, she told me this:

The body registers good change and bad change exactly the same on stress tests.

So, you could be getting married or getting laid off a job -- and the body will still process/experience/feel the change at the same level of stress.

I'm not talking about sideline emotional states of sadness, loss or grief -- just stress. The kind of stress that makes the body feel tired and maybe puts you to bed an hour or so earlier than ususal, gives you the jitters, adult acne, weird appetite cravings.

So when you are going through a more-or-less positive change and find yourself saying things like, "I don't know why I haven't been able to sleep/I'm tired all the time/I can't concentrate/I'm feeling stressed -- I should really be so grateful" -- there might be a good reason. You're going through a Change. Humans react stressfully to change. Change is scary. Even if it's something wonderful, filled with possibility -- a new relationship, new job, new home, new business, new wardrobe -- newness is unchartered territory. Unchartered territory makes the heart palpitate. That's the formula. So know it and accept it, I say. And remember that these heart-palpatating states of change (ok, stress) might be preferable to being in a boredom-induced rut.

A coaching instructor recently told her class, The more you accept all of yourself, the easier life is.

Nobody said change was easy. But it's inevitable. Enjoy thinking about all the possibilities that can come from it.

And what if you prepared for the best?

Who Should You Listen To?

When you start something new, like a business or you have an idea for one, who do you listen to in collecting constructive feedback?

Because we can't just go out there and take the world by storm without testing it out and putting our idea out to the Proper Critical Feedback. So goes the local wisdom. And a lot of it makes sense. Still.

When is feedback too much AND  who and what do you listen to?

First off, see how your heart responds to the feedback. Follow the feedback and suggestions that resonate with you at a deep and immediate level. Someone may not get the thrust and focus of your idea in the first place, or may be projecting how he/she would do it and that may not jive with you. So screw 'em!

But here's something I've noticed: There is sometimes a piece of information that hits me strangely. It doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel horrible, it raises my curiosity and even suspicion. This often turns out to be a golden nugget of some kind of valuable information, even if I have to crack it in half and splice it with something else.

And know that the other advice that falls flat or you shake your head at vehemently and yet wonder hmm, hmm, hmmm... this piece may make sense at a later date and that's okay too. You can implement any or none of it how you choose to.

I think there is a combination platter of how new Ideas and Things come into the world: Idea incubates and then you bring it out to the world for feedback, a little trial and error (free classes or services or dress rehearsals with a safe collection of friends or colleagues). Think of a soft store opening, or going Beta.

And then it may be time to go back into incubation for refinement of your idea. Or need some time alone to think things through for the next move. A therapist once told me, New relationships need a lot of privacy in the beginning. Well maybe new ideas and biz creations and artistic creations do too.

Here is some great advice from Seth Godin about Critics That Matter. He compares one critic who makes a difference to  one who doesn't.

Maybe the budding entrepreneurs among us can keep this in mind while pushing forward on the path.

And remember: Some people like to give critical feedback for sport. Also, it's easier to articulate criticism than it is to give positive feedback; and criticism often makes people feel smart. And, helpful. Ha. Just keep this in mind. Soon enough you'll find your Right Trusted Advisors.

Now get out there and have fun creating your New Thing.

Weekend Quickie: One Small Thing

If there was one small action you could take this weekend, that would bring you one step closer to a place you'd like to be within yourself and the world -- what would that be?

OK, I'll start. I have two

Eight-hours of sleep Swimming and sporty time with friends.

Where do I want to be? Feeling more grounded and at ease. And these two simple things are how I can get there.

After a month of travel, intensive coach training in Vancouver, BC, family visiting for ten days, it has been Life as Unusual. So there was some beautiful upheaval that unplugged me from "Regular Life" and now ... silence. The sudden disconnection from children's voices and family dinners has me feeling tilted.

We all have those Regular Things that ground us, I believe. I have my tried-and-true Regular Things that help me  feel right side up and grounded when I'm off piste with myself -- sleep, working out, being around people I care about, reading, creative outlet, down time to name a few. These all help me put down that delicious anchor that makes me breath and from which I can swing.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What are yours?

Never Pretend to Be a Unicorn

I found this in my in-box today. Some advice to poets -- but let's just call it some wise words to People in General, with a wink and a sense of humor. Advice to Young Poets

by Martin Espada

Never pretend to be a unicorn by sticking a plunger on your head 

Here's what I think it means. Well, I'm just going to think on it. I don't want to rob you of your meaning! But do share.

Delicious Weather Drama

Madison Beach at 9pm, on the record breaking 100-plus day. It's been great theater.

The sky, the sky

The Vancouver Sky during a thunderstorm

  This photograph was taken in Vancouver at around 9pm, during sunset and a thunderstorm.

After seven days of intensive training my stress and overwhelm meter was on high - spicy spice! And then the sky opens up with rain, thunder, lightning and this crazy orange light.

With it, I could feel an entire room breathe and release. Maybe it was just me.

I was thinking of Goethe's attributed quote : "At the moment of commitment the universe conspires to assist you."

My variation: "At the moment of constrictedness, the universe conspires to release you."

What release will come after this heat wave?

Ahhhhhh....