Hey! Are You Paying Attention?

I'm not talking about the sitting-in-the-classroom type of paying attention, but the paying attention that has you notice a heron at the far-end of a pond, or seeing something about human nature in the way a woman talks to her son.

This kind of paying attention is often honed when someone declares a desire to Write.

I've recently met someone who is not a Writer but she love words and she wants to know how to use them in a way that lets her communicate to people with purpose, warmth and humor.

And after declaring this, she told me how she's paying closer attention to everything around her. She's taking in the world more intimately and noticing things: the natural world around her, for starters. Details, small things. And she told me this with a smile on her face and a glow in her cheeks.

A Great Movie Line on Writing and Paying Attention That Makes Me Verklempt

Years ago I watched the movie Il Postino, a fictionalized version of a time when the poet Pablo Nerudo was exiled to a small Italian island. In it, there's the sweet but dim-witted postman who asks Neruda (and this is going by memory):

"Seniore Neruda, how does a person become a poet?"

Neruda: "You take a long slow walk on the beach and look at everything."

I thought that was one of the best pieces of writing and life advice ever. Incidentally, my main memory of Brenda Ueland's good book If You Want To Write is her recommendation that a writer walk about an hour a day as part of their practice. I think she walked six miles a day.

So, let's say you were to buy a 69 cent tiny notebook and drop it in your bag or a back pocket and move through the world imagining yourself as someone who writes. How will you witness the world around you differently?

What will paying closer attention to everyday details add to your life?

You might be amazed at the show that's ongoing around you all the time.

Have fun!

***

Another recent post featuring Pablo Neruda: How to Write a Book Review.

Money: How Do You Plan for Surprises?

The other day I had a simple, brilliant idea.  It came on a day I put my health insurance up for review and was making calls as I considered switching to a plan with a Health Savings Account. They used to be called Flex Savings Accounts -- tax-free stashes for funds that can go toward extras like eye glasses or child care or, in the case of HSA, old folks' homes if it lasts you that long. The surprises.

So I called my health insurance to see what it would look like for me to change my plan.

First, I'd have to reapply all over again which is an avoid-at-all-cost proposition.

And the HSA insurance wasn't as good as the insurance I currently have.

And so it hit me: I'll start up my own health savings account. Simple! Brilliant! 

I opened a new account under an online savings accounts (it's sooooo easy), started it with $50 and then set up an auto deposit of just $15/week. That's affordable. It will accrue over time, $60 a month, nothing huge in volume but it makes my heart beat a bit more calmly at the fact that I'm at least DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. I have a few extra dollars if some surprise medical or dental situation arises or I want to finally do lasik surgery.

This summer I started imagining a business that was like a sanctuary -- something beautiful and nurturing that would take care of me and others for a long time to come. This feels like a good start. And yes, it's occurred to me to wonder how long this very responsible account will last before I pluck at it for something else, but we'll see. The initial step feels productive and sanctuary-like.

On this note, what are creative ways you take care of yourself as a business owner?

***

Read another post about moolah:

What would you do with all that money?

What Makes You Happy? A Quiz

The Pursuit of Happpiness is a hot topic these days. Everywhere you turn there's a new book, magazine articles, reviews, TV series -- and goshdarnit, I'm watching/reading them all.  And so, to share the wealth -- Here's a brief encapsulation on some Happiness Basics: A Cosmo Quiz! Ready? ... just five small questions. Go!

1. What is considered to give us the most overall happiness?

A. Alone time

B. Relationships & connections

C. Having children

D. A giant, quasi-deserved tax refund

2. People feel happier when talking about:

A. How much sugar to add to their baked muffins.

B. Their children

C. The meaning of life

D. How their arch rival in high school who also stole their boy/girlfriend was recently left by their spouse and declared bankrupcy.

3. True or false: Happiness is something that should come easily, like -- get Zen baby, it will come.

True. Take a chill pill and rip up your To Do list.

False. You gotta make a little effort in this life, babe!

4. True or false: Money can buy happiness.

A. True. The wealthiest people in the world are actually much happier than studies admit.

B. False. Money actually leads to despair and emptiness.

C. A combo of A and B.

5. Humans are generally great predictors of what will make them happy.

A. Hell yeah! True as these blonde roots.

B. No way. We suck at it. False false false.

***** Answers below******

Answers:

1.  B) Relationships and connections are the motherlode of our happiness, according to the PBS documentary This Emotional Life.  We're made to connect to and love one another. Neat, eh?

2.  C) According to this NYTimes article, deep conversation is more happy-making than shallow small-talk b.s. stuff. Hooray!

3. False. It takes more effort to be happy and optimistic than to sink into sulkiness and melancholy, something Gretchen Rubin wonderfully points out in her book, The Happiness Project. Anything good in life takes effort: relationships, good health, work, creative projects, raising your kids, staying interested in your life. Make the effort to clean out your closet, give your loved-one a kiss instead of a sharp word, say something positive in a conversation, give yourself a high five for a job well done instead of focusing on what wasn' t done. Smile even when you don't feel like it. Happiness is made up of a series of small, meaningful efforts.

4. C). For someone who doesn't have enough money to pay their bills, buy food and put a roof over their head, money buys happiness at a basic survival level. But once the basic needs are met, the amount of happiness money adds to a life is almost inconsequential. Daniel Pink addresses money matters in his latest book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. Even in business, money doesn't really motivate people over time. However, money does matter in the initial stages of getting someone to say Yes to the job.

b. False. Human beings have a pretty terrible track record at predicting what will make them happy -- and what will make them miserable, as well. The upside: we're adaptable. Upside No. 2: Now that we know this, and we arrive at that surprisingly unhappy place, instead of staying there and forcing it to work (a job, a relationship, a book, a project), why don't we readjust and go to plan B before it's too late and know it's part of our human nature instead of a personal shortcoming and get on with it, already!

Why Is That Song in My Head?

For two days I've had the most nonsensical song in my head: The old ad jingle for "Big Red" chewing gum. Big Red hasn't used this ad in years but I just discovered that Verizon's latest TV ads are a remake of these strange corny old ads.

Two questions:

Why, in 2010, can't an ad agency come up with an original idea? Why do we get these earbugs? 

Earbugs. They're those stupid tunes that get stuck in your head on replay. 

Here's what I found out about the earbug phenom from Discover mag:

An earworm is a mental mosquito bite that produces a cognitive "itch." And if you can't remember all of the song or some of the words, the brain just keeps going round and round trying to scratch that itch. Earbugs also apparently happen more often in women, musicians and people who worry. If you're tired or stressed out, you're wide open to a predatory ditty.

Here's a look at the old Big Red ad.

Now compare it to the Verizon ad.

Can you hear the jingle now?

How to Write a Book Review

Or, How to Write a Book Review With Balls.

Here's how Pablo Neruda laid it on the line about the writer Julio Cortazar:

Anyone who doesn't read Cortazar is doomed. Not to read him is a serious invisible disease which in time can have terrible consequences. Something similar to a man who has never tasted peaches. He would quietly become sadder . . . and, probably, little by little, he would lose his hair.

I love how accusatory and eccentric and fantastic and, well, real this review is. Neruda captures that feeling that arises when you experience artwork (or something) that blows your head off and opens your eyes and heart and gives you that urgency to communicate how vital it is to the human race to have the same experience asap. Can you relate?

I'm not familiar with Cortazar's work, so I went to Amazon to check out his most famous work, Hopscotch.

The "key phrases" associated with this book  included: fat pajamas, metaphysical rivers, calculating cat, old man upstairs, drinking mate, millenary kingdom, beautiful green eyes.  And, instead of a Table of Contents, there's a Table of Instructions.

So I checked it out from the library immediately.

How about using the keywords in a writing prompt?

***

Poems by Pablo Neruda

A great movie about poetry, beauty and Pablo, Il Postino.

You're Inspired! Now What?

My clever-minx friend Therese over at Message Gap made such a great point in a recent post about facing the proverbial blank piece of paper. She writes "perhaps you’re inspired to act by a charismatic chief executive but not sure where to bring all that energy back to the day’s work."

Here's what strikes me about this point. Put this into any context. Take someone who's just been inspired by a book or a talk or a song or a conversation or by surviving an incredibly rough journey that is on the upswing and suddenly this person feels magnificently motivated and inspired to do ...  something.

That something could be to sit down in front of a piece of paper and start writing or drawing; it could be to pick up the phone to have that overdue conversation or learn how to finally write that business plan or adopt a child or join the Peace Corp.

That first rush of YESness is so energizing.

The second eventual rush of NOW WHATness is so ... confusing. Even deflating, to the tune of "Ah, fughetaboutit."

Of course this is why people are going to coaches and counselors and joining common-interest groups and communities: to take that inspiration and make it into something over the course of time. Instead of letting another bloom of YESness wilt away, what if you listened? 

Don't discount a returning idea or vision or calling as just your imagination running away with you.

Write it down. Tell someone. Fan it, nurture it and love it by asking around to see who else might share your interest. Have you ever noticed that the second you discover a new interest or idea, everyone you talk to has something to say about it? When I first started writing poetry about 12 years ago, that's how it seemed to work. Instead of saying Oh, I don't write poetry, I told people I worked with I was curious about poetry. Suddenly: books of poets were stacking on my desk and the ACCOUNTANT of all people was emailing me his favorite poems. It was important stuff let me tell you.

Life gets filled with meaning, joy, and rich connections when you add to it pursuits that really inspire you.

So what if it feels hard and confusing. Anything worth doing well that brings the OH WOW rewards starts off with a big What the F--? In other words, it's effort, and there's fumbling but it's new and energizing too.

What's important is matching the right actions to the inspiration.

You don't feel like it?

That's okay. Nobody ever really wakes up like a super hero and charges to it.

People who live their conviction and make their visions come true do so by stringing together a series of actions that over time makes something happen. Think of a daisy chain of small efforts.

Be a creator. Show yourself what you're made of. And remember -- you don't have to do it alone.

Your best dreams...

are the ones you have while you're wide awake. The best, most successful dreams are the ones you follow up on and make happen. It's easy to rest on the laurels of your big, groovy vision and take comfort in it happening one day.

But this is also why "dreams" get a bad name: so many of us procrastinate on turning our dreams into reality that the word "dream" elicits many an eye roll these days. Dreams are for airy-fairy dreamers.

In some cases it's okay if a dream dies an early death. An occasional idea, thought or inspirational burst may come in and hang out for a while, we play with it a bit and then we realize Nah, not so much and it can float on past to someone else. But somewhere in there, we're hopefully catching other ideas and callings and working on making a few of those legitimate.

If it's a reoccuring real-life dream, something that grabs at you physically, spiritually, mentally and keeps you up at night -- that's a dream that wants to come true.

Stop dreaming and ... start with a series of small steps that are within your control. So, if you're giving in to a years-long nagging to write that book, start by making 15 minutes three times a week to scribble and write. Sign up for a writing class in your neighborhood, or online. If you've always wanted to run a marathon, go buy a pair of running shoes, get a training plan and start talking about what you're doing until you find other runners to play with.

All big dreams start with small bite sized pieces and take patience and an investment in the process.

You really don't know where you'll end up once you start.  That's the excitement of adventures, and following your dreams.