That Job You Want? Give It To Yourself.

You know, you really can give yourself any job you want.

So maybe your business card says Director of Marketing, Math Wizard or Founder/CEO. Maybe you're temporarily in transition. All you have to do is locate your own personal life-work mission. Imagine this job description is the story with the magic subtext -- one that gives an important lifeline to What You Do. Your personal job description/mission might not be what people immediately see, but it's what they feel.

For example, maybe you write copy for The Man, but in your heart you're a harbinger of diplomacy among people trying to communicate in different styles. You can bring all those clashing leitmotifs into harmony. So you give yourself the title of Creative Diplomat. I knew of a real estate broker years ago who called herself (privately) a lifestyle coach and focused on helping couples have the best experience possible as they navigated through the prickly process of choosing a new home. If you're in transition, find an archetypal role you think is yours to the core and start playing that out in daily life with friends, family, volunteer work, at the local coffee shop, on informational interviews as much as possible.  I mean, really -- who's to stop you?

Personal example: I had a job as a technical writer at a company where I was not producing the most world-enlightening copy. However, what did matter to me was that I brought fun  to the work place. Fun to me means my co-workers feel engaged and enthusiastic about their work, there's happy collaboration, there's learning and excelling and plenty of laughing. It makes work meaningful, rewarding and something to even (GASP) look forward to. So being the Fun nurturer was my personal mission and job description.

Now, how about you? What job description might you give yourself that brings your true essence into your work life and the lives of others?

Have fun giving yourself your own job title. If you come up with something, share!

xo

"That's My Space"

I was listening to a Fresh Air interview with comedian Joan Rivers last week.

At one point in the conversation, Terry Gross asked Rivers why, after all these years, and 70 years old, she still chooses to get on stage and perform, stage fright included. She answered the question with a great line from British actor Peter O'Toole.

Rivers and O'Toole were backstage somewhere together, and O'Toole pointed to the stage and declared, "that's my space."

Simple, elegant, clear. That stage is the space where people like Rivers and O'Toole feel most themselves and they're doing their life work, playing, feeling engaged -- all that good stuff.

Now let's take this line and play with it.  What is your space -- a place where you move and think and work most naturally? A place where you want to return to year after year?

If you were to point to something and say "that's my space," where would that be?

What Do You Love To Do?

If you want to have more fun, feel more engaged, wag your tail more, ask yourself one very important question: Am I doing enough of the things I love to do?

I'm talking daily life Loves, like: cooking, reading, sports, movies, walking, hobbies, enough time with your favorite people.

Start with a love list

• Write a list of the things you love to do. (See examples above and expand; anything goes.)
• Next, fill the list out with some context, i.e.: I love to cook with my kids. I love to trail run with friends. I love going to a matinee by myself. I love reading in a coffee shop surrounded by the smell of coffee and sweet pastries... you get the picture.

How many of the items on your list -- that are within your control -- are you doing? How many of them are doable but they're falling through the cracks?

Pick one of them up. Pick up another. Step up and make small tiny efforts over time to make these Loves happen.

Fun is important. Having more engagement, laughter, tail-wagging, purring hums of contentedness -- this is the stuff that makes life and all the gorgeous struggles worthwhile!

But it takes effort. Fun doesn't happen without you turning the wheel. It's not insta-delivery service falling out of the sky, Surprise!

Just for the record ...

I asked myself this question recently when I felt myself sinking into an existential funk. I wrote down a list of Loves, five items and it took about ten seconds. When I looked at my list I saw what was missing: "with others" was the context part that was falling through the crack. So the following week I went to work on adding the "with others,"  by finding professional groups and doing a bit of networking. And my funk drifted away once it had focus and an assignment. Which is ongoing (don't drop the ball folks).

Don't forget the high five

When you write down your list of things you love to do, don't forget to pay tribute to this: Where are you succeeding? Then, give yourself a high five -- before asking:

And what do you need to add back into your life?

Start with one item, shine the sun of your affection and attention on it and go!

Hint: The things we love to do, we love for a reason. They're part of our gift, our purpose, our natural expression. So the more you do these Loves, the better life is, for you and everyone around you.

If you make this a project that lights up your curiosity, you'll find your entire outlook changing. Enjoy, and share what you find there.

xo t

Did You Have "Fun" This Weekend?

Everyone aims to have a fun weekend. (Or at least we're all told to!) There's fun and there are the duties of errands, kids' sports, home improvement projects, family time, friends time, hobby time, sports time, alone time, nap time, movies, reading, cooking -- Jesus, that's a lot to fit into a couple days. It's amazing more of us don't call in sick with a mini-nervous breakdown Monday morning.

Of course fun is relative. But I've never heard someone say "I need to have less fun."

If you like the idea of having more Fun, consider this:

• Define what fun feels like.
• How do you know you're having fun?

Take this question around with you for the next week. Fun might show up as a hum in your belly, an opening in your chest or the sound of lots of laughter. It can be jumping in the lake, running hard with friends, doing engaging work, watching a movie on the couch -- it can surprise you. But when you spot it, take note. 

I once discovered my fun hum kicking in while doing laundry and cooking. I was having a great time doing domestic arts on a Sunday night preparing for the week. Consequently, I cooked more that week and had more enjoyable evenings. What made it fun was that I was in motion and creating something, a combo that works for me but I often give into laziness and the story of "I don't feel like cooking." But when I do it, my evening is so much more fun; I eat better, sleep better and so it goes. You probably have your version of cooking on a sunday eve.

Sometimes we have fun without knowing it because we haven't defined that fun feeling. But once you lock into it, you'lll notice when it shows up. You'll start to have more fun -- and you'll be able to make it happen. I'm talking about simple, everyday but meaningful fun.

So what does fun feel like for you? Take this question out into your week, keep a fun notebook. See what you find there.

xo, t

“I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.” — Katharine Hepburn

Are You a Job Slave or Bliss Follower?

American mythologist and scholar Joseph Campbell said, "I think the person who takes a job in order to live -- that is to say, for the money -- has turned himself into a slave." I always like the message of a quote like this, probably because I am not one of these slaves -- I've always "followed my bliss," as Campbell liked to say. But the reason why I like this quote is because I need it. At a time right now, when I'm building a new business and filled with all kinds of uncertainty, a quote like this can cheer me on.

But I also feel for another reality of those of us who have taken jobs more for the money than for deep meaning or fulfillment. Some of us have needed it, some of us have started on that path and are now stuck there, not sure how to get out of it, and let's face it -- we live in an increasingly expensive and materialistic world. It's tough to "follow your bliss." As someone who has chosen to -- actually, it's more that I'm wired to -- do work I really like and care about, I feel for both stuggles.

The struggles to do work you don't like in order to provide for a family; and the struggles to do the work you love while dealing with uncertainty, isolation, doubt and fear. And then there are the places in between these two extremes.

I've worked for companies and on my own over the years and I've liked both experiences for different reasons. I like the community and collaboration of a company job; I like the regular pay check, the insurance and generally the sense of being taken cared of.

But it doesn't take long for me to start feeling bored and restless in the routine, with the politics and the same-ol, same-ol.

I got my first clue when I was 23, working at my  first job in NYC, an advertising job, when after a very unsatisfying first year of working in circles I started asking my team members, "Why do you do this? Do you like this work?" My answers were all along the lines of, "What else is there to do?" I found those answers totally unacceptable.

Have I had a better life leaving this so-called "prison" and doing work I like, that has meaning and diversity and creativity? Who knows, but I don't think I am better off or a better person or enjoying my life any more.

I've struggled and been broke, unemployed, lonely and despairing while others have marched to their daily jobs, building their 401ks and getting on in life. However --

It's the right life, with the right successes and challenges for me. And I don't have a big history of jobs I hated or jobs I've been bored at and the changes along the way have also fit my temperament and personality.

I believe we have the life that works best for us, at least when we're making intentional decisions.

At some point in life we get an opportunity to take all those breadcrumbs and patterns and sign posts and start to consider a new way of working, living -- and committing to that. It might be a tiny shift, like working 40 hours a week instead of 60. It might be quitting your job to do that thing you've always wanted to do (which recessions can be good for; many people who lose their jobs are often freed up to follow a new path).

Either way, creating a good working life can be a struggle -- but a beautiful one, filled with surprising encounters, self-discovery, connections and euphoric buzzes of purpose and meaning that go beyond one's wildest expectations.  Even a sense of peace.

A friend recently responded to my biz building efforts with, "That sounds hard." Yes, sorta. But what's harder for me is going to a job day in day out that I don't like.

I care about having a fulfilling working live, and I care about other peoples' working lives. I've been at enough companies where I've witnessed people just not having a great time at work. Some of it is their own choice (we all know those chronic bitchers). But still, what a sad situation, that so many of us go off to our jobs with rounded shoulders and tired souls.

This is one reason why I want to coach professionals. I want to do what I can to help people have more fun at work, feel more fulfilled, use their innate imagination and creativity to manifest a better work-life experience.

Because when you're happier and I'm happier and he's happier and she's happier ... it affects all of us. What a beautiful world it would be if more people even liked their work more than they already do.

So, whether you're a job slave or bliss follower, or somewhere in between, what do you think of Campbell's quote?

What are you doing right now to have a life-work experience that brings you some kind of joy, fulfillment and sense of purpose?

Here's to all of you hard workers!

xo t

Calendar, I Curse You!

My May calendar. Is there a message here?  

This year I've tried to get Organized. I've tried to get on a blogging editorial calendar and fill my weeks with regular tasks, duties and god-knows-what.

In the meantime I've been learning a bit about Time, Personality Types and honestly: Did I need to? The fact that I have failed both my calendaring attempts in a year that's not even halfway over says enough, don't you think?

The first calendar was a one-week whiteboard calendar that I gave away after writing down a great schedule for a week in January that was still there in early March.

Next, I moved on to the big lovely monthly calendar you see above. I sprinkled the month of March with an editorial calendar and ideas and that went okay. I do have a bit of a problem following orders, which this felt like. My internal writer self would protest, "But I don't WANT to write about that! I don't WANT to write it today!" Hmph.

April I ended up accidentally doing something different-- I filled the calendar after I wrote a blog or had an idea to track or fill out. I thought it was the best idea ever -- learn from the pattern and do more of what worked. Genius.

And by May, I was over it. It didn't even exist for me anymore, even though it sat there on my working table in all its whiteness.

So screw it.  The only calendar I'm going to have for now is my wall calendar filled with birds, a real beauty.

Ironically enough, I was the "calendar girl" at my last editorial job, keeping our calendar updated and I even liked it. I can actually get organized when it's for a group. For myself, it's a differnet story: it seems to be a more chaotic sense of organization.

Here's the thing: Systems don't work for everyone. Our cavemen predecessors didn't have calendars and keep appointments. Even though that's modern life, so we have to deal with it, it's still not a part of our animal nature.

So if you're frustrated at your lack of "organization" -- it could be you're trying to put your round way of thinking into a square way of keeping time. If it makes you weepy, fuggetabout it and find something that works for you. Get curious about what works for you, instead of defeated (flogging hurts, too).

Then tell me how you did it!

xo t

Creative Problem Solving, Gaudi-Style

Over a year ago I visited Spain where I spent time in Barcelona and other Northern towns standing in complete awe before the amazingly fantastical architectural creations by Antonio Gaudi (1852 – 1926). He’s famous for the Sagrada Familia, a church that’s still under construction, among other Disney-esque buildings, parks, homes and churches.

Gaudi was an architect who studied Euclid’s geometry and worked in various art forms, like sculpture. Whenever he was stuck on a problem he went outside and studied the natural world for solutions.

His home is in the Park Gruel which is filled with tiled creatures, arched pillared walkways, and colorful fairyland-esque structures.

He says he never owned or referred to an architecture book when he was stuck on a project. Instead, he got all the answers he needed by studying a tree outside one of the windows of his house.

This is one of my favorite stories of creative problem solving and creation. His devotion to the natural world, and looking to it for ideas made him one of the most unique architects in history.

So let’s take a page out of Gaudi’s book. The solution you’re looking for may very well be in the singular act of looking up and out the nearest window.